Find out how to increase confidence so you can achieve a goal you've set, lessen stress, and optimize your state of happiness.

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
Benjamin Spock, author of 'Baby and Child Care', 1977

If you are looking to improve confidence you need to know that it has a lot to do with attitude aside from ability.

I've known a lot of people who, while they lacked ability in a certain area, totally 'oozed' confidence! I'm not speaking about bragging about how good they are at tennis, or singing, or public speaking - when really they're not. I'm talking about feeling alright about not being great in those areas and doing them anyway!

Some things are simply not necessary enough to worry about - but we do just the same and create unwarranted tension for ourselves. Whether you fall over trying to ice-skate, make a hash of cooking, fail at DIY or simply worry that you may not be good at using a computer if you tried it, so you don't - does it really matter?

Of course there are certain things which are important! Being good at your job is one among them; creating good relationships is another. In these situations you should find some strategies to aid you.

What building selfconfidence boils right down to is getting rid of that voice inside your head that tells you that you will be unsuccessful if you try, that you're no good at this sort of thing, that you'll make a fool of yourself - or whatever the particular message is that rocks your self-confidence.

These messages don't necessarily tell the truth:

They may have been told to you, in the past, by other people who had their very own agenda. Generally people will say things to put you down so they feel better about themselves!

They may have been your very own version of what someone said. Often what we hear is not what is meant, therefore when I say "You're not very good at sports", you may hear that as a criticism or someone saying "You're a failure!"

They might be primarily based on a specific experience you had which caused you to jot down that message inside your head yourself. Let's say you tried making a bookcase once but it didn't look very good when you completed it. Therefore, in your head you believe you're no good at carpentry and will never try again. But you could have acknowledged that this wasn't too bad for your initial try and that you'd probably improve with experience.

Your attitude is the factor that can carry you to success, or defeat you before you even begin.

If you don't trust you are able to do it - chances are very high that you won't. And if you believe all of the detrimental messages from the past, you may as well build a brick wall between you and your goals. (And remember, you fail 100% of the opportunities you do not even go for!)

But if you believe you can do it, when you could visualise yourself in your mind doing it, chances are very strong that you will be successful!

There's a saying: "Change the way in which you look at things and the things you look at will change." (The half full - half empty glass is an example of this!)

But you do not need to do this on your own, and confidence coaching could assist you to to find alternative ways of viewing things. And the coach may help you to identify your negative beliefs and knock down those brick walls that stand between you and your very own targets. Developing your confidence will undoubtedly help you to achieve what you want from life.

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